nothing smile

i wish i was special
i wish i was your type
i wish i was the stage diving-long haired siren
god of rock and death and life

and i want to overlook the city
on the rooftop of our school
all the criminals and perverts
all the boys you think are cool

i wish you'd let me die
my pillow is your lap
showering under your teary smile
heavy eyelids before i go away for awhile

but you would only miss me
because i'd really be gone
and not there for you to chase around
as a hound chases a fox.

"nothing" i said to you last night
when you were asking me what was wrong.
it was because i feel so alone sometimes
and lately you.. you just..